World Philosophy Day 2007

In honor of World Philosophy Day, I offer this for your edification:

The Philosopher's Song

(Monty Python)

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Both Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates himself was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half pint of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
"I drink, therefore I am"
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!


Fortune Cookie

My Fortune Cookie told me:
If you do not yet have a moose, take pains to acquire one.
Get a cookie from Miss Fortune


"Family" Resemblance?

Yeah, right.


Blog Action Day

Bloggers Unite - Blog Action Day


Monsignor So-not-gay

The So-Not-Gay community now has a priest to add to their next Un-Pride parade. Naturally, he was only pretending to be gay. Like O.J. Simpson only pretended to bust into a hotel room and hold up some guys at gunpoint. Just a misunderstanding.
clipped from www.cnn.com

VATICAN CITY (AP) -- A Vatican official suspended after being caught on hidden camera making advances to a young man said in an interview published Sunday that he is not gay and was only pretending to be gay as part of his work.

He said that he pretended to be gay in order to gather information about "those who damage the image of the Church with homosexual activity."

"It's all false; it was a trap. I was a victim of my own attempts to contribute to cleaning up the Church with my psychoanalyst work," La Repubblica quoted Stenico as saying.

Stenico was secretly filmed making advances to a young man and asserting that gay sex was not sinful. In the Repubblica interview, Stenico said he had met with the young man and pretended to talk about homosexuality "to better understand this mysterious and faraway world which, by the fault of a few people -- among them some priests -- is doing so much harm to the Church."

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My Magnificent Friends
and Their Flying Machine

I was so wiped out last night after I got the pictures posted that I just went to bed without posting any text. The opportunity to fly in this little plane literally came out of the blue. I went to my ex-father-in-law's 90th birthday party. (Yes, my ex-husband & I have been divorced for years & years, but we're still family.)

A couple friends of the family came up for the party in their WWII bi-plane. When the party was over and my ex was taking them back out to the airstrip, he asked if we'd all like to go out & see the plane. I love planes, trains, motorcycles, etc., so I went out to see it. After we all got out there, they asked if anyone would like to go up in it before they left. A couple of people said yes, but I was thinking there was no way in hell I'd be able to get up into it. There's no stairs or ladder - you just have to climb up on the wing, then pull yourself over the side into the cockpit.

My ex-sister-in-law went first, and after they left I looked around and saw the flimsiest folding chair I have ever seen next to the little concrete block hut which is the terminal building. I drug that out and sat on it until they got back. My ex-brother-in-law went next, so he could take his father home, who is the biggest birthday Scrooge in the world.

I went next. With the chair and the help of my friends, I got into the plane. It was the most awesome experience! I'm so glad I decided to go for it. As you can see from the pictures below, it's an open cockpit, so the wind just rushes into your face. My lips are still chapped & sore from grinning into the wind.

My friend who flew the plane (from the backseat) had me put my fingers on the edge of the windscreen and then push my hands up so that they were deflecting the wind above the screen. Just doing that makes the plane go up and down. It definitely teaches you not to stick your arms over your head and wave them all about! Anyway, it was a an absolutely gorgeous day, and an incredible experience. I never in a million years would have thought that morning that I'd be flying over the countryside in an open plane that afternoon. What a marvelous day.


My Bi-Plane Adventure


Subliminal Baby Costume Messages

I stumbled across these costumes for babies, just in time for Halloween. I had to wonder, though, what could possibly be going through the mind of someone who crammed their child into one of these outfits. Here's my interpretation of the subliminal messages:

Baby pees a lot.

Baby poops a lot.

Baby has a little gas problem.

We're sending our baby
to private school.

We don't believe
in circumcision.

We're in couples

We're Catholic.

Baby was conceived...

...with a bottle of rum

...in a hot tub

...in the front seat of a VW

...in ten seconds

Baby has two daddies.

Baby has two mommies.

Baby is delicious
with drawn butter
and a nice chianti.


Free Burma! -
International Bloggers' Day for Burma

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The bad menu translation fries the idea powder

hilarious menu 4
Originally uploaded by idalingi
"Fry the sauce."

If you insist.

"The pig picks the noodle soup."

Good choice, pig.

"Meal egg soup. The brisket gets the river powder."

Hey, what if the pig wanted the river powder?

"Slippery chicken in mushroom gruel."

Well, the chicken should have looked where it was going.

"The black cow silk fries the idea powder."

I never knew that black cow silk could cook!

"The day type fries the black winter."

I've heard that Prozac helps.

"Three silks fry the of."

They fry the what of what?

"Fuck to burn the of."

Excuse me for asking!

"Fuck to fry the cow river."

Oh! Well, I'll take that to go.


O'Reilly has a toasted meltdown

The really sad thing about this whole episode is that I believe he really, truly, honestly doesn't realize that there was anything racist about his remarks. Nothing could be more pitiful than being denigrated by someone who means well, and who thinks they have the best intentions. This kind of inadvertent bigotry is the most insidious. There's just no fighting against these people.
clipped from mediamatters.org
On the September 27 edition of his nationally syndicated radio show, while discussing media coverage of his recent controversial comments about race, Fox News host Bill O'Reilly asserted: "These people aren't getting away with this. I'm going to go right where they live. Every corrupt media person in this country is on notice, right now. I'm coming after you." He went on to warn: "You smear somebody and you can't back it up, you're gonna get it. ... You go after somebody's family, you go after them and smear them with defamation that you can't back up, I'm coming to your house. I'm coming to your house. You'll have a camera up your nose. OK?"
Apparently referring to the media who he said "ran up to Harlem and ... fed black Americans bogus quotes from Media Matters," O'Reilly added, "[I]f I could strangle these people and not go to hell and get executed ... I would -- but I can't. ... All I can do is expose them. And I will."

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Parlez-vous Google?

A friend of mine sent me this Google translation of a French travel postcard:

Come to slacken in family on the immense fine sand beach.

Let you surprise by the richness of nature where paths of walks and cycle tracks curve which will carry out you along the ponds, paradise of the fishermen and the walkers.

To the wire of water, plunge in the tropical forest of an exceptional site:
the natural reserve of the Current of Huchet.
You give pleasure and live your passions on one of most beautiful
golf of Europe dominating the ocean.

Appreciate the joys of the beach with surfing, the kite, the beach-volleyball and the pleasure of the bathe. Practise tennis on the many courts, seek strong feelings on the skate park or the forest walk of quads.

Enjoy our festivals and live at the rate/rhythm of our traditions.
Let you carry by the environment of the Moors.


So Not Gay

Last week Senator Craig joined the ranks of those who have come out publicly as So Not Gay. This is great news for the gay community, who have previously celebrated the Un-Pride of such celebrities as Oprah, Tom Cruise, SpongeBob Squarepants, and Michael Jackson (also So Not a Pedophile). Hopefully this will inspire others to come out as So Not Gay (Britney Spears?).


Tickle Me E. Coli


The You can Find Anything on the Internet Series - Part Deux:

I just stumbled upon this online store with the cutest little stuffed animals. The store is called GIANTmicrobes®. Yes, that's right.

Their dolls range from Alimentaries™ (e.g., E. Coli), to Venereals™ (e.g., The Clap). As a special deal, you can buy a set! A 6-pack of Calamaties™ includes the Flesh Eating virus (so cute!), Ebola, and Black Death (for those Goth kids).

Go ahead - take Salmonella to your next potluck! Give Herpes to your friends who have everything, and aren't afraid to spread it around!

How Not to Celebrate the New Moon

"Woman faces charges after yelling chants"

"...Capt. Mike Babe said Brenna K. Barney of Waukesha told police they were infringing on her religious beliefs since she was performing a ritual under the new moon..."

"...Neighbors called police shortly after midnight Tuesday and, after an officer arrived, he heard the woman yelling in the backyard and found her wearing headphones, a T-shirt and underwear, the captain said..."

"...He said Barney at one point poured lighter fluid on the fire, in which she was burning rubber car mats and a cooler. Barney refused to cooperate with police and was belligerent, and her breath smelled of alcohol, Babe added..."

Let me see now... "Eye of newt, toe of bat, styrofoam cooler, and rubber car mat." Yeah, that ought to do it.


Tacos y Torture

Spanish Torture
Originally uploaded by Monkfishy
Not the greatuest picture, but this is a mural I saw on the wall inside a Mexican restaurant where I went to eat with my parents yesterday. All you need to whet your appetite for some good Mexican food is a life-size painting of partially naked men being tied up and tortured. Delicioso!


Must-See Internet

For anyone who missed this, here's the link to the presidential candidates' forum with the Human Rights Campaign on GLBT issues:

The Visible Vote 08



This is a bit of a segue from my last post. I ran across an article about Elton John's interview, Why we Must Close the Net. It started me thinking about all the people I've known who passionately avoid some form of technology.

I've known a couple of folks who refused to own a phone. A friend from high school has refused to watch television all of her adult life. She wouldn't have one in the house, except that she was overruled by her husband & kids. At this point in my life, I know several people who refuse to own or use a computer. I even have to include myself in this. I and several of my friends and acquaintances refuse to have a microwave oven (see How I Inadvertently Came to Fear my Microwave).

Although there seems to be a general assumption that technology is integral to everyone's life, it actually isn't. For a lot of people, it isn't even welcome. I once had to read Future Shock by Alvin Toffler for a sociology class. It's interesting to me that after 30 years, the popular suspicion and dread of technology has almost complete disappeared, except for these isolated idiosyncracies. Yet, at the same time, we seem to be just beginning to wake up to the consequences of unbridled consumption.

I wouldn't begin to consider giving up my TV, much less my phone or computer. On the other hand, I gladly gave away my microwave. Now I hardly ever miss it. It's just very rarely that I wish I could nuke a bowl of soup when I'm really tired.

This past spring, in the interests of environmentalism, I stopped using my dryer and put up a clothesline. I actually really enjoyed going outside and hanging clothes when the weather was pleasant. I haven't done that since June, though, when it got into the 90's. I suppose I could continue doing it on the occasional nights when it cools off a little, if I had some light out there.

When I think about what else I might be able to live without, I imagine that I probably could adjust to giving up my TV. I might even be able to give up my computer {gasp!}. I'm not giving up my phone, or my air conditioning, but there are a lot of technological things that aren't really essential to my well-being or happiness.

One of my happiest memories is of spending a week in a cabin with no electricity. Although it can be nice to have some conveniences (like a refrigerator), it isn't really necessary to have all the things we feel that we have to have in the modern world. We've just gotten used to them. If global warming and oil shortages become more pressing, we may all have a chance to see what we can give up.


(away from keyboard 2 burn ur hous down)

Taking 'Flamewar' A Bit Too Seriously: Man Drives 1,300 Miles To Burn Down Home Of Online Critic

by Mike Masnick
Fri, Jul 27th 2007 7:31pm

from the yeah,-maybe-let-that-one-go dept

Online flamewars certainly can get nasty at times, often boiling over into quite a bit of rage -- but it's still pretty rare (and amazing) to see that anger then boil over into the real world. Last year, we wrote about a case in the UK where someone drove 70 miles to attack the guy he was sparring with online. The press referred to it as "web rage," though, rage doesn't tend to last that long. Or, perhaps it does. Here in the US we do things in bigger ways, apparently. A guy in Virginia who got into a flamewar online decided to make it a bit more literal, and drove 1,300 miles to Waco, Texas to burn down the home of one of this online enemies from a (no, this isn't a joke) picture sharing community.

(more at Techdirt...)

I hope this puts to rest the theory that the internet is only serving to isolate and distance people. Obviously, it's also bringing people together in surprising new ways.


Jesus on a Unicorn

Jesus on a Unicorn
Originally uploaded by Monkfishy
Okay, here's my crude 1st attempt at cropping & pasting Jesus on a unicorn. Jesus on a dinosaur has sort of knocked the wind out of my sails.

I have also found out that even this is not an original idea. See Jesus Rides a Unicorn on MySpace.

To make it worse, apparently the unicorn appears in one or more translations of the bible, and is thought by some to have existed in the garden of Eden. Great holy hooey.

I guess it's time for me to get to work on the Mad Hatter's Last Supper.

P.S. In my quest to create this image, a friend of mine turned me on to:

GIMP - Free

I highly recommend this as one of the coolest graphics editors ever. I was able to create and save this image in less than two minutes after installing the program. Plus, it's free! I'm all about the free.

Jesus on a Dinosaur

I've just spent some time editing a picture of Jesus on a Unicorn. Next I thought I'd had this cool original idea to photoshop a picture of Jesus riding on a dinosaur. Then I found this, courtesy of The Searcher on flickr™.

Damn! The only difference is I meant it as a spoof! I thought it would be so ridiculous that no one could possibly take it seriously.

It just boggles my mind that there are people who actually believe stuff like this. What can I possibly do to top this absurdity? Leprechauns in the garden of Eden? Jesus and the seven dwarves? Give me a break!


Roundabout Route to a First Post

Okay, I have now determined that I can blog from my phone, although this isn't really what I had in mind. I mean, I'm not even blogging from my computer. All I really want to do is create an online shopping list that I can access from my phone when I'm at the store. Is that too much to ask???

Anyway, now that this has gotten me to actually post my first blog, here are a couple of things that have amused me today:

This is part of a message I got when trying to access something on Google from my mobile web:

"Please note that it is a violation of intergalactic law to use this parameter under false pretenses, so don't let us catch you at it. And, it won't work very well -- really."

Also, a few weeks ago I snagged a perfectly good milk crate out of someone's trash. Right now it's sitting upside-down on a table. I was just sitting here staring off into space and happened to realize that it has stamped on it, "DAIRY FRESH", and under that, "THOU SHALT NOT STEAL".

My latest idea for a bumper sticker which would only serve to piss people off:


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